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Hindsight

by Avi Vinocur

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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Bootleg: Live in San Francisco; April 7, 2022, Casino Time Loop Nightmare No. 366 (Single), Hindsight, Santa Cruz (Single), NO CAUSE FOR ALARM, and Portraits With No Color. , and , .

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1.
Nothing here is like the way that I’m rememberin I swore there was a diner down on 4th and Hennepin We’d smash our bottles in the street And curse at Frank Viola Cause when the Twins lose 102 You spike the coca cola But that was back then I remember it well But maybe I’m wrong Summer’s longer when you’re young Whatever drugs you’re on I think in June we overdosed And saw The Wrath of Khan I swore to god the girl in front was Olivia Newton John We tried to find her manager and I woke up in the lawn But that was back then I remember it well But maybe I’m wrong Oh there was something in the air in Minnesota Way back then Oh but I don’t think that where I’m now it meets the quota Like Minnesota Nothing here is like it was 30 years ago But what did I expect that I Didn’t already know We lost some friends in the Persian Gulf But gained some Northern Stars It could be that it’s colder now Or they’re tending different bars Yeah that was back then And now we’re out here Wondering if The cloudiness cleared Yeah that was back then I remember it well But maybe I’m wrong
2.
Shit Hotel 03:16
May the 25th Round 5:05 Heard a knock on the next door down the hall and I wonder why Left $20 bucks for the cleaning maid I don’t care what he does just as long as he gets paid Fighting in the walls Like they might break through Got a weekly rate on this shit hotel Just to get to you Since you up and left I quit drinkin’ again I know I didn’t make enough time for you back then You untied the bird You said that you would free it I don’t care what it is just as long as I can see it I don’t care what it is just as long as I can see it I seen you driving round In the same old truck Does it still break down on sundays or did you change your luck I bet you met a man who ain’t absentee I don’t care who you love just as long as it is me I don’t care who you love just as long as it is me
3.
Go North 03:37
Westward rings the far off bells Of Dawson City, Yukon The crippled mountains have gone dry but the miners carry on They're digging and they're panning and they're holding out a hope As the wind it bites like wolves upon an antelope ..I'll be one of them, riding a truck northward in the snow ......Three days up through Canada I'll go ..... Find work on the crabbing ship a friend of mine did several years ago A leathered man he told me: "When you’re backed into a corner, go north" Anchorage is not that far, but Fairbanks is a distant star There was a girl I knew up there, But she went to Alberta And I cried, lord I cried But her stories put desire in me to live beneath auroras To disappear beyond the map where no one could record us Where 6 months of the year the sun is barely moving toward us Windowless and clockless hundred miles into the forest ..And I'd be one of them, riding a truck northward in the snow .... Three days up through Canada I'd go .... Find work logging birch trees with the relative that I don't even know I read it on a railway wall: "When everything is broken, go north" ..I am one of them, riding a truck up northward in the frost .... Three days up through Canada so lost .... Aging with the condors and breathing in the burning wood exhaust The last thing that she said: "If an answer won’t present itself, go north"
4.
I’d mute the sound of the siren That scares you I’d cut the gordian knot That impairs you I’d gather stones from the wall Till it isn’t in the way I'd keep a nightlight standing by When it’s haunted I’d change the color of the sky If you wanted I’d fix the highway with my hands So it’s softer on your wheels And I don’t Have a plan Sometimes I'm Not sure I can But if you need it I will find it and if it’s tangled I’ll unwind it Yeah I’ll dissipate the clouds In your window I’ll leave the sound of the rain On your roof though I’ll figure out what’s going wrong And have answers for you And I don’t Have a plan Sometimes I'm Not sure I can But if you need it I will find it And if it’s tangled I’ll unwind it I'd keep a nightlight standing by When it’s haunted I’d change the color of the sky If you wanted And when you need it, I will find it If it’s tangled, I’ll unwind it
5.
Leap Year 02:55
We both had twenty nine days to come to an armistice or issue a threat We both had twenty nine days to figure out something that we didn’t quite get They gave you more than one chance to have driven for a living and we’d easily have parted At low-end density there’s the propensity To boomerang back to the place where this started Sometimes you gotta take it all with a grain of assault and tighten your armor Sometimes you gotta fight back with a poisonous snake and a virulent charmer I gave you 29 days to pick up a pistol and take me out back You can sometimes take all the medicine, and even if you’re reticent Choke on the Ipecac I gave you twenty nine days to rip off the tourniquet and see if it bleeds I gave you twenty nine days to check on the houseplant and see what it needs Here we are on a hill above town, wondering which side we should run down One’s blue and one side’s brown, one side run, and one side drown Jump Jump Jump Jump
6.
There’s a colonial house Right before Acadia ends I knew that you were gonna buy it someday but we never talked about it again I am a painter of canvasses so money isn’t easy to draw You always said that I should show what I do But I’m still hung up on a flaw And what good can come from the lights on Yeah what good can come from the lights on Maybe I’m lonelier Lonelier So I’m painting in the dark and guessing what colors are lonelier Lonelier Everything is grey and shaded in a way that suits me I tried to sketch the house That takes your eyes off of the road I tried to capture the state it’s in With chipped paint and staircases bowed I have no courage to show you I know what you’ll probably say But I swear that there’s room for improvement Before I go file it away Maybe I’m lonelier Lonelier so I’m painting in the dark and guessing what colors are lonelier Lonelier Everything is grey and shaded in a way that suits me It’s been a month since the car crash I still haven’t figured out words In the place of the sound of your voice Is the whisper of Acadian birds I finished painting the house last night But not the way it’s standing today I cleaned it up and I fixed all the stairs And I drew you in the entryway Maybe I’m lonelier Lonelier So I’m painting in the dark and guessing what colors are lonelier Lonelier Everything is blue and I shaded it like you would have wanted
7.
Escape 04:19
8.
Firestorm 02:30
Wyoming border line Around 6am All the rearview ones He never cared for them Smoke it drifted a- cross the open prairie We assumed it was only temporary In the world he lived It barely ever rained he was a firestorm that’s finally been contained He drew the jack of spades on his final turn He didn’t know it then It was an uncontrolled burn There were always cards He never loved the same It was game over girl And highway over game In the world he lived It barely ever rained he was a firestorm that’s finally been contained In the world he lived It barely ever rained he was a firestorm that’s finally been contained
9.
One More Morning One More Morning One More Morning One More Morning One More Morning One More Morning One More Morning One More Mourning
10.
I’ve kept my cards close to my chest I’ve dealt with heartaches that I never have expressed I never saved enough to invest But if nothing else I gave it my best Yea I’m barely gonna make it by the skin off my ears and I can see that it is all downhill from here And when I finally get there, on the wings of a crow I promise you I’m gonna tell John Prine hello I had a good run for a Mixed up man Nothing ever went according to plan A lotta rain fell when I was weaker-than I tried to smile for you the best I can Yea I’m barely gonna make it by the skin off my ears and I can see that it’s all downhill from here And when I finally get there, on the wings of a crow I promise you I’m gonna tell John Prine hello Winter comes and winter goes There is always an ending to the snows I don’t know how, and I don’t know when I just want to see the grass growing green again I can’t get it off my mind I can’t get it off my mind
11.
At one point there were evergreens In this part of the state But I always knew it as some kind of a miserable wasteland In the 50s on McKinley Hill Mr. Senator you made room For 17 houses, a reservoir, and a sulphur mine It’s an old familiar story That you keep behind a door But someday someone’s gonna wanna Even up the score But the rug you swept it under Wasn’t even yours to begin with First came the strugglin’ Then came the pills Both of them were brought here Against the people’s wills They’re addicted to the hard stuff A product of your theft You’d drink a 5th of something If it’s cleaner than the water that is left At one point there were eagles here Dancing in the trees But the pit of the mine it drowned them in a poison lakebed Mr. Senator I beg of you Bear witness to this place The decaying earth, and the decaying town beside it It’s an old familiar story That you’ve likely heard revised But you don’t know the agony Till you see it with your eyes In Washington you billed them But the people out here can’t pay it now First came the strugglin’ Then came the pills Both of them were brought here Against the people’s wills They’re addicted to the hard stuff Still paying for your theft You’d drink a 5th of something If it’s cleaner than the water that is left

about

A set of songs about the year that was.

Thanks to Dani Saputo for being the best quaranteammate.

Shoutout to Clint Wells, Bob Schneider, Derek Bahr, Steve Poltz, Alex Maas who oversaw the writing of many of these and provided words of encouragement and inspiration.

Recorded and mixed in quarantine in late 2020 entirely on my phone using the built-in microphone.

credits

released February 12, 2021

All songs written by Avi Vinocur except track 7 "Escape" by Hetfield/Ulrich/Hammett

Recorded and mixed on iPhone by Avi Vinocur
Mastered by Jonathan Kirchner
Cover Design by Dani Saputo
Cover Photograph by nobody

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Avi Vinocur San Francisco, California

Member of the band Goodnight, Texas

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